Fifty Shades of Stupid
Tuesday, February 17, 2015 at 09:06AM
Dishy

I apologize in advance for the ensuing rant but there are times when I need to let rip about something (anything) and this seems like as good a topic as any.

I realize in order to have a strong opinion on something and certainly to write any sort of review, one needs to actually have read the book or seen the film but in this case neither will be possible. I did TRY to read the book (because whenever there is that much hype I feel it’s my duty to investigate) But after standing in Barnes and Noble thumbing through about fifteen pages of COMPLETE drivel, I threw it down in disgust and simply refused to give E.L James a cent of my money. It wasn’t the subject matter that offended me (that would come later) it was the juvenile writing style that should be an insult to the intelligence of anyone over the age of eleven.

It is actually heartbreaking to me that so many women seem besotted with this book given that the concept is so abhorrent and demeaning to our sex. Given the frenzy of excitement surrounding the novel one would think it was the first piece or erotic literature ever to be published. It’s not the first but it certainly is the worst.

It is ABSOLUTELY mind-blowing to realize that after all the times women have spoken out against being controlled and dominated by men that they are now en-masse telling the world that no really does mean yes. The idea of romanticizing sexual violence and domestic abuse is a slap in the face to every woman who has ever had to endure it.

I want to ask all these women, who are fantasizing about Christian Grey, if he and his red room of pain would be just as attractive if he was a checkout clerk at Walmart? (as apposed to a wealthy entrepreneur) I suspect without the money and power he would just be viewed as a dangerous creep.

I’m not standing in judgment of whatever two equal and consenting adults agree to do in the privacy of their own bedrooms but Fifty Shades is NOT that. Even more bewildering and disturbing is that even when reviewed by a Dominatrix the film is a disaster zone: 

“Christian Grey, played by Jamie Dornan, is supposedly a dominant in Fifty Shades. He isn't a dominant. He's a stalker. He breaks into Anastasia's house, he bullies her friend, he buys her expensive gifts. He is constantly crossing boundaries. And S&M is all about respecting boundaries.” Lady Velvet Steel.

I confess I have no interest in pain. I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid it and I find it hard to understand its place in the most precious, trusting relationships with those we love. The pain I have experienced just knowing that this piece of garbage has sold over a 100 million copies worldwide and already grossed over 81 million at the box office (with an audience that is 68 percent female) is more than enough for me.

I was somewhat consoled to learn that TWENTY million people bought the book thinking it was a paint catalogue!

However I’m disheartened that I live in a world where a sure fire way to make millions is to put out sensationalist crap that appeals to the lowest common denominator.

E.L James took the cliché ‘No Pain No Gain’ all the way to the bank.


 

 

 

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