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Thursday
Apr252013

Sweet Baby James

I’ve just finished nursing Rockstar through a Tonsillectomy.

It was an experience I hope NEVER to repeat.

Fun Fact # 1: This is not an outpatient procedure for an adult EVER.

Fun Fact # 2: The reason you are being sent home is because your insurance doesn’t want to pay for overnight stay unless you are close to death.

Fun Fact # 3: Some doctors and hospital admin. staff have the bedside manner of Genghis Khan. Nurses however are truly wonderful. Bill at Boca Regional – THANK YOU – you probably won’t read this but YOU made a difference.

The night following the surgery was totally horrific. I think I’ve been scarred for life from twenty hours watching Rockstar suffer what would surely constitute torture if he was being held captive.

Fun Fact # 4: Your children are still your babies even when they are 23 and left home two years ago.

Fun Fact # 5: The reason I had to go to the doctor and speak for my son was because he’d had throat surgery and COULD NOT TALK or DRIVE not because I’m an overprotective mother DUH.

(Although of course I am.)

Fun Fact # 6: If you have an abnormally swollen throat after surgery which is preventing you swallowing even a SIP of water then you WILL need to be on an IV for at least a day or two as you will NOT be able to swallow pain medication – surprise surprise.

Fun Fact # 7: A private room at a hospital is $300 a night. This is comparable with a room at a decent hotel and is without doubt the BEST $300 we ever spent. The alternative was a shared room with a very sick man who was coughing, hacking and vomiting. Not really what Rockstar wanted to be listening to when he was already in ACUTE distress. On top of that the roommate had a seven family members around the bed all taking turns in the shared toilet (more unpleasant sound effects.) The private room gets you away from all of that but what it doesn’t do is get you away from the crazy person in the next room who spends the whole night SCREAMING at the top of his voice “SOMEBODY HELP ME.”

Fun Fact # 8: The guest recliner in the private room is a sort of pre-war contraption and after a night in it you will probably need to stay in the hospital yourself for back surgery. However it is still WAY more comfortable than the guest armchair so the second you vacate the recliner to use the restroom your Husband will hop right into it.

Fun Fact # 9: The Mama stays with the Bubba at the hospital overnight (‘sleeping’ in the pre-war recliner with a thin hospital blanket while the Papa gets to go home and take a lovely hot shower, sleep in a nice comfortable bed and return the next morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. So the Papa needs to be VERY careful not to upset the Mama or to assume that she is fine just because she SEEMS fine. She SEEMS fine because she doesn’t want the Bubba to see her crying. 

Fun Fact # 10: Just because your patient can’t eat doesn’t mean you will save money on food that week. I don’t think I have ever had such an enormous grocery bill due to my desperation to find something that Rockstar could eat without hurting his throat. He still lost fourteen pounds and I lost seven!

Not the first choice for a weight loss program but a small bonus for the week of hell spent nursing MY sweet baby James.


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Reader Comments (1)

Jude, it may have been torture for you guys, but your Dish It Up was highly entertaining for the rest of us. We can identify with Fun Facts 1-4. We are also very happy that Elliot has recovered.

April 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRichard Feldman

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