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« Positive Thinking | Main | Return to Slender »

Business as Usual

Dear Everyone,

Next week I will be on vacation visiting my brother in Seattle so I will NOT be responding to ANY e-mails or answering my phone. I plan to have a TOTAL break so please don't be offended if I do not respond to your constant stream of mediocre jokes or your numerous requests for my undivided attention. Please don't be upset if I seem to have abandoned our word games I will be back VERY soon. My laptop is staying at home and and I plan to give the family my UNDIVIDED attention. 

My iPad will however, be coming with me (as it would have to be surgically removed for me to leave it behind) but I will ONLY be using it to read the novels I've selected for the trip. 

OK, I admit I will probably take a peek at my e-mails, just in case there is anything REALLY super, super urgent but that will only be ONCE a day (or maybe once in the morning and once at night.) After all one can't just run away from all responsibility but obviously my response time may not be what you have become accustomed to so please understand if I do not answer your e-mails three minutes after you wrote them. 

I will ABSOLUTELY NOT be logging into Facebook; if one can't go on holiday for a week without posting every single photo and activity there is a serious problem. No, I will wait till I return to share every minute detail of foods consumed and places visited. Come to think of it though I might just play a few turns on the word games - perhaps while everyone else is watching a movie I don't want to see or having some political discussion I cannot contribute to - no sense in being bored. But I'm only going to deal with work EMERGENCIES, not your run of the mill day to day problems just crisis management. That should cut down my hours on line by at least ten percent while still maintaining the illusion that I am a VERY senior person without whom the company would collapse within twenty-four hours.

Personal stuff is another matter - I have MORE than enough discipline to stay off the internet for extended periods of time - I PITY people who clearly have internet addictions (that they refuse to acknowledge) and start hyperventilating if their iPhones or Blackberries are misplaced for a mere second. Although it does occur to me that a whole week of Facebook without my witty contributions might be quite distressing to all my FB friends. In fact my abstinence is  starting to seem like an EXTREMELY selfish act so I may have to reconsider my stance. Perhaps I will allow myself one post a day. That should keep everyone happy and since I'm often awake at 3 am my family won't even notice I'm doing it. While I'm lying there (sleepless in Seattle) I may as well finish answering all the work e-mails, that way when I get back it won't take me four days just to catch up. I mean it really makes sense. It's not that I can't let go, honestly, I just like to have all my ducks in a row.

So basically it's business as usual.

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