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Thursday
May172012

Tempting Fate

I was recently complaining (within my Husband's hearing) that I have nothing to write about anymore because he doesn't ever DO anything to inspire me. He was quite affronted and demanded to know if I was implying he had become boring (the worst insult of all.) This is surprising considering so many of my blogs are humorous at his expense (although he is always so good natured about it I think he secretly enjoys being the brunt of my jokes.) Anyway I cannot blame him entirely for this sad lack of material as the truth is that now Rockstar and Genius have left home and I have been reduced to shared custody of the DOG, things are a little quiet around here (no I didn't say BORING.)

Of course my job is NEVER dull and I could probably write many blogs about my life as an Interior Designer but since I would like to stay employed I will have to wait until I'm in my eighties and then write my Bestselling Novel about THOSE experiences.

Anyway, the day after that fateful pronouncement, my husband rose like a phoenix from the ashes of our mundane existence and left his prescription sunglasses in the rental car we had just given back to Enterprise. He realized he had done this when we were on the courtesy bus pulling up at Heathrow Airport for a flight that we were already VERY late to check-in for. The driver kindly radioed through to the depot and arranged for the glasses to come out to the terminal on the next bus where (in theory) my husband would wait at the bus stop to collect them. We dashed up to the check-in counter and I managed to sweet-talk the airline staff into letting us jump the queue (much to the UTTER DISGUST of all the very polite and orderly British people waiting in line.) It looked like we had averted disaster when after showing both passports and getting our seat assignments I got the all-clear from the pretty blonde Delta girl for Mufasa to go down and collect the glasses. Just AFTER he DISAPPEARED from sight and I hauled the suitcases onto the scale Miss Delta asked me for our Green Cards (did I mention she was blonde?) Of course I had no way to contact my husband with a desperate instruction to return to base as (thanks to an AT&T screw-up) he had no phone service in the UK. I was then forced to stand to the side watching all the smug people I had just bypassed giving me filthy looks as they completed their check-ins ahead of me. 

The Delta staff refused to watch the luggage while I ran downstairs to get the Green Card so ten minutes before the check-in closed I had no choice but to run through the airport like a complete MADWOMAN wheeling an overloaded cart of baggage and swearing like a trooper. I'll skip the bit about pressing all the wrong buttons in the elevator and move on to the fact that the doors eventually opened to reveal my husband grinning like a village idiot and waving the precious glasses. 

Fast forward through another agonizing chapter of pushing our way through check-in and security to arrive breathless and fraught at our gate to discover surprise, surprise the flight was delayed by half an hour. Whew, time for a coffee (or so I thought) but apparently neither Pret or Costa coffee is good enough for Mufasa it HAS to be Starbucks, so he disappeared again for FORTY-FIVE minutes on a completely USELESS quest to find the uber bean. By the time he returned I had blown my diet (started that morning) by stress eating three tomato and cheese croissants from Pret, and drinking their perfectly OK coffee.

We were the last to board (because obviously my husband can't decide he needs to use the toilet until three seconds before they close the gate) and as we settled into our seats and prepared for what I hoped would be an uneventful flight, I resolved that in future I would be content with the peace and harmony of our day to day existence and resist the temptation to goad him into undesirable behavior even if it does make a good story.


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Reader Comments (1)

Good scan, good points, a number of which I have learned along the manner additionally (humility, grace, layoff the controversial stuff). Can share with my colleagues at work as we begin blogging from a company perspective.

June 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercar Hire Heathrow

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