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Tomayto Tomaahhto

I don't know what is going on with my husband and I, but after twenty-five years together in relative harmony we seem to be bickering about EVERY LITTLE THING. Generally we do not argue much (perhaps one major meltdown a year) but all of a sudden we can't seem to communicate without sniping at each other over the most RIDICULOUS issues. Last week the washing machine (which has been broken for about six months) was making its eeeeeeeeeeech eeeeeeeeeeech eeeeeeeeeech noise and Mufasa insisted it was too full. When I explained that in fact it was only HALF full but needed to be fixed he got all ratty and insisted that it WAS JUST TOO FULL. 

After that unpleasant episode we moved on to other household topics that normally wouldn't merit discussion and managed to disagree on which side of the sink the wet plates should be stacked on, how often dish towels should be re-used, why we had run out of tea bags and the firm favorite - the correct temperature setting for the AC.

Considering that we both live and work together we get along AMAZINGLY well which I believe in part has been due to an early agreement that he is the boss at work and I am the boss at home. However after he had strayed into my territory and felt entitled to air his views on my appliances I felt COMPLETELY justified when I walked into his office and noticed the following errors on the rendering he was working on:

"The rug is too big and the chandelier is too small."As you can imagine this did not go down very well although he did begrudgingly make the changes.

The whole situation was very distressing, normally we spend most of our time poking fun at each other and laughing so I decided to confront him with the suggestion that he was turning into a CANTANKEROUS OLD BASTARD to which he responded that I was turning into a MISERABLE OLD WITCH. 

Things reached a crescendo last Wednesday night when he was packing for his trip to Hong Kong. I should have known it was coming when he started wildly flinging things out of the laundry basket and stomping round the house muttering under his breath. Sure enough within minutes he appeared at the foot of our bed (where I was trying to sleep) and accused Genius (who went back to college last week) of taking all his underwear. At that point I just exploded, pointing out that Genius has NO interest in Mufasa's underwear (which is black and from JC Penny) as he has his OWN underwear (which is RED and from Urban Outfitters.) As the argument reached a crescendo I desperately dialed Genius who fortunately didn't pick up and thus unknowingly spared himself from becoming embroiled in an ugly scenario with two completely crazy parents.

Unable to prove myself correct I stomped off to the guest bedroom in total disgust and lay there sulking until the Cantankerous Old Bastard finally softened and came in to make up with me. We then made a pact NOT to argue any more about stupid stuff and to go back to being KIND to each other. 

The new order has been super easy to adhere to as my husband got on a plane the following day and we are now in the throes of Lovey-Dovey-Missing-You e-mails. Nothing like a few thousand miles of separation to repair a relationship. Let's see how long it lasts once we are reunited in an eight hundred square foot apartment in Hong Kong for six weeks.

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Reader Comments (1)

Correction - Apparently Genis buy his red underwear at American Apparel not Urban

February 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDishy

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