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Wednesday
Nov212012

Blocked

I seem to have lost my voice. I don't mean I have Laryngitis it's my writing voice I've lost. I have NOTHING to say. My last blog was posted on October 14th  and since then I haven't been inspired to write a SINGLE word.

I was expecting to have a ton of material but NADA, ZILCH, NIENTE.

I guess this is what is commonly referred to as writers block and apparently the only cure for the condition is to write. So here I am writing (even though I don't have anything to write about) in the DESPERATE hope that as I continue some miracle will occur and this collection of words will suddenly become a creative, humorous piece of literary genius to be savored by all who stumble upon it. When I say ALL I am referring to the few family members and friends who claim to regularly read and enjoy my blog. I'm afraid this is just NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I thought I would be rich and famous by now and if all my apathetic readers had simply passed this page on to even a handful of their friends then Dish It Up would have EXPLODED by now and I would be sitting on a beach drinking margaritas while the sales of my books, oven gloves, aprons etc sky rocketed. Instead of which I am still working my fingers to the bone in a real job and trying to satisfy the few paltry requests to be a little more prolific. Come on people I need REWARDS, you are going to have to try a little harder. Is it really that much trouble to press the like button every time you read one of my posts? After all you spend half your lives on Facebook commenting on the biggest load of insignificant CRAP, but I can count on four fingers the number of comments I've had in the two plus years I've been doing this. Now that the election is over and you have nothing much to rant about can't you divert your energy into promoting my page?

It's hardly surprising that I'm so demotivated. Aside from my family, my co-workers and the ever loyal David I barely get a scrap of attention. I need FANS. Real, adoring, stalking type fans. Strangely when I look at my stats and the map which shows location of my readership it reveals that this blog is being read in about thirty different countries - INCREDIBLE! I'm completely mystified as to why someone in Kazakhstan would be remotely interested in the minutiae of MY life.

We were in New York last week with the boys and were taken out for a fantastic dinner (by the Ever Loyal David) and I had been fretting a little about the occasion as Rockstar and Genius are not known for their propensity to try new foods. I had checked out the menu in advance and ascertained that the experience was likely to be a culinary adventure. Imagine my shock when they both devoured every pulse, bean and legume that was placed in front of them. At one point I turned to Genius in total awe and declared "I cannot believe that you now eat spinach and Mushrooms!" He looked at me strangely and replied " Well all YOU ever make are carrots and peas." I was literally SPEECHLESS; Can he really be that deluded? Good grief doesn't he realize that carrots and peas are the only vegetables I ever served THEM because they point blank refused to eat any other vegetables? Just the mention of a brussels sprout or zucchini would be enough to induce severe gagging and the standard excuse "I'm not hungry." THIS is what happens when your kids leave home......they discover all sorts of new things and then re-write history with you starring as the unsophisticated bumpkin that held them back all their lives. Small wonder that I wasn't in too much of a hurry to blog about THAT.

Even Mufasa is not co-operating these days. I'm beginning to think he's having an affair as he is being far too nice and not doing anything to aggravate me, ergo no husband bashing material to wax lyrical about. Oh well..... tomorrow is Thanksgiving and everyone will be home. It will be a full-on lunch for sixteen with Dishy's FINEST creations so hopefully Rockstar and Genius will be reminded of what an incredibly good cook their mother is and perhaps there will be just enough craziness to inspire an amusing blog about our family's eccentricities. And just MAYBE someone in Tasmania or Outer Mongolia will be driven (or bored enough) to leave me a comment.


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Reader Comments (1)

bloody good blog...I am impressed once again as to how you manage to create something
out of nothing and make it funny. ...but then I am your mum and possibly your biggest fan??
xx

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermarge

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