Just over four months ago Mufasa and I took a HUGE leap of faith.
We were thirty thousand feet up and knew our plane was running out of fuel, had dysfunctional propellers and would most likely crash unless drastic action was taken. Even if the pilot had been able to recover the engine function and steer us to safety we were so sick of the turbulence that an alternative scenario seemed worth the risk.
We hoped our parachutes would open.
The period of free-fall has been an interesting and terrifying experience. It’s amazing what you learn about yourself when you step out of your comfort zone.
Being outside of that safe place has never been something I’ve aspired to. I am completely risk adverse and when I say risk, I mean anything more daring than going to a movie without watching the trailer first. But when the veil lifts one day and you are faced with the realization that you are so DEEPLY miserable and afraid of the future that nothing could actually be worse than the current situation, there are no real decisions to be made.
Looking back now, I see that as soon as I stopped trying to control every waking moment of my life and found the courage to trust a higher power, everything just dropped into place. The right people appeared, what we needed became available. What we NEEDED - not necessarily what we thought we wanted and there is an enormous difference. I can see now that I had been living my life from a point of fear. Fear of destitution, fear of what others would think, and the biggest one, fear of failure. Once I let go of the fear everything became possible.
So here we are unbroken, surviving, thriving even. The transition has brought it’s fair share of challenges and Mufasa and I have had a few meltdown moments (future blogs to follow on that subject!)
Rockstar & Genius have been our greatest advocates, not once suggesting that perhaps we had LOST our MINDS and that they were not in the slightest bit interested in a roll reversal situation in which they were the ones paying OUR cell phone bills. Blew has come into his own as the official Human Resources department, offering unconditional comfort and setting a good example around the clock.
We don’t know exactly what the future holds but we are happy, we are at peace, we are (for the first time in a VERY long time) excited about our future. We are starting to see that thanks to the support of some truly amazing people everything will be just fine.
We are blessed and we start every day with gratitude for ALL the things, the good the bad and the ugly that brought us to exactly where we are right now.